Breaking Up Is Hard To Do

January 11, 2005

Just recently I broke up with a guy I’d been seeing for almost a year. I thought everything was great. Everything was great. We have a lot of similar interests. Same sense of humour. Both like scary movies. And cats. He treated me way better than any other guy I’ve dated. Even bought me nice gifts (though that isn’t important, but it’s nice).

But there was something troubling me…I knew deep down inside that we didn’t want the same things, but for along time I didn’t want to admit it to myself.

In the time we’d been together we hadn’t had “that” serious talk that all couples should have. The “What do you want out of this relationship?” talk. I finally needed to get it out. I couldn’t stand pretending any more.

We got together one night and finally had “the talk”. The days leading up to this talk were excruciating. I knew it would be the end of “US”. Finally, he told me right out he didn’t want to live with or marry me (or any other woman) or have children. Well, I can’t live with that. I’ve always wanted children. We ended our relationship right there. Few tears were shed (by me of course). It was hard. Everything else was so great. It was one of the hardest things I’ve done. Seems silly though…having a hard time ending something because you’re not getting what you want. Surprisingly, I haven’t been that emotional about it. I’m usually in tears over Hallmark commercials. Maybe this cold I have is numbing my emotions.

In a way I’m glad its over…I am free to find someone who wants what I want. With me. But there’s always that fear that I will be alone. The lonely old lady down the road with lots of cats. Maybe that wouldn’t be so bad!!??!